This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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