someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
