She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize