sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
This is my gift to your gina
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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