i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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