marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
