pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
