I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
