you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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