dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
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