Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
