If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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