You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Green mimosas i think yes
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
