i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
