sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
