swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
