so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
she looked like the before picture.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My ass is underappreciated
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
