She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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