What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
