I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
this boner is exhausting
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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