worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
