Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
