woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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