on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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