it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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