take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You're like the curious george of whores
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
