I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
