69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
