My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
