you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
