im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
