Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
