I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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