11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
