we're blogging at a bar
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
