Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
