Where is the hickey?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
