you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
