We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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