girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
