I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
