Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize