How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
