I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
