Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
