I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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