You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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