Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
