she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
