I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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