SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
it's great music for shaving your balls
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
