Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize