Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize