The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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