I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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