if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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