so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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