Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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