Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
