went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
