Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
