Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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