How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
home. puking in laundry basket.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
