Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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