if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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