i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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