He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
