I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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