is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize