tell your sister to shave her snatch
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
