you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Someone signed my nipple.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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