You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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