alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize