Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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