Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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