Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
