It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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