LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
