Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
