did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
